My 600-lb Life

My 600-lb Life is possibly my favorite show ever created. TLC, surprisingly stands for the The Learning Channel, at least it used to. And another surprise is that this show has never starred Honey Boo Boo's gigantic mother.

The things you might be forced to learn about these days on TLC involve 600 pound people, crazy women trying to find a wedding dress, and how parents are able to exploit their children. Very mind expanding topics.

That being said weighing 600 pounds is impressive. Many who are reading this probably aren't in the best shape themselves, but no one has the guts to admit that weighing 600 pounds has perks. (Pun intended)

First, you get on TV and that alone is at minimum is a four figure payday. If you are interesting enough as a gigantic person those paydays keep coming in money and probably candy.

Second, you would get a certain amount of pity from people for your health problems which would include, but not limited to diabetes, sleep apnea, heart burn, and starvation.

And finally, if you drop that weight there is a book deal, a Lifetime movie, and TLC specials for years about your rise and fall of 600 pounds.

I have told a few people of my desire to be on this show. I'm not a huge fan of walking, but I'm a huge fan of food. I would start my quest by signing an endorsement deal with Golden Corral. Several months of breakfast, lunch and dinner in the Chocolate Wonderfall could push me to the high 300s.

Not exercising is not a concern of mine because I don't exercise much. But the key for me is getting a motorized device early in the game to eliminate all physical activity, so an endorsement deal with Hover Round would be required and a Stair Glide endorsement would be ideal as well.

The final nail in the coffin for many of these 600 pounders is snacking. And I bet an endorsement deal with a frosted animal crackers company could be beneficial too.

In conclusion, I'm not actually going to ever make it on My 600-lb Life, that sounds like a lot of effort. But for all the go getters out there, I've laid the blue print for success in reaching a weight that can make you money for your children's children.