Bob Sullivan Show 12-14

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Who Really Killed Abraham Lincoln?

John Wilkes Booth

Concussions and Video Games

The long term problems caused by concussions has been discussed at length. Seeing some of our favorite athletes in their lives after sports has been devastating. But it is very upsetting to people who play Madden or NCAA Football as well.

For example, a mild concussion in a 2005 or 2006 video game was nothing more than an injury that a player could return from after halftime. Now I lose a mobile quarterback for a week or more and when you are trying to win a National Championship, one loss can be the difference in being a champ or a chump.

And I also miss the ambulance driving on the field to cart a player off the field. It's a video game, but that may have been a little too real.

I appreciate video games being more and more realistic, but let's eliminate concussions on football games. They cost too many brilliant Madden players a chance to be on the Madden bus.

Backyard Baseball

I don't act like an adult but by age I'm supposed to be one.  And the adults between the ages of 21 and 30 should remember a game called "Backyard Baseball."  A fantastic game that had spin offs of basketball, soccer, and probably football. I would research the spin off games, but I'm far too lazy to waste any more time than I have to on this topic.

Let's start off by me pointing out that the names on this game would never have gotten past meeting one in today's day and age. Although, I will say I am mildly amused by the names, most people may take offense.

I'm going to begin with the racial aspect of the game.  Number one the names couldn't be more stereotypical.  Pablo Sanchez is a stud baseball player from Latin America (I assume), and he is also very short and fast. Nothing terribly wrong here, but the Sanchez name is questionable.

Then, we have Achmed Kahn.  Really?  Achmed? That's a bold name to give an athlete from the Middle East.  How many movies involving a terrorist plot have a guy named "Achmed?" Probably quite a few.  They probably got the stereotypical name of Achmed from Backyard Sports.

And finally, we have Kiesha Phillips, a heavy set black girl who couldn't have the name Brittany.

The one smart move was not giving the wheel-chair kid the last name of Wheeler.

I appreciate movies and games that try to be inclusive of creeds and nations, but the execution needs to be better.  I am hereby announcing my candidacy to get the ability to name the characters in all children's TV Shows, movies, and games because I can be the man that stops the stereotyping at early ages.

Bob's Fake Mailbag

I'm going to attempt to answer some questions that were sent to me this week from Hollywood and ESPN.

MAIL
"Can an NFL team lose and still win?"
-Trent D, from Bristol, CT

      Trent,

          No. Surprisingly in all sports you have a column for wins and a column for losses. If you win a game by 1 point or more, that goes in the win column. And if you lose a game by 1 point or more,  that goes in the loss column. Now it gets confusing when the teams have the same score at the conclusion of the game, those go in the ties column.

         Love,
         Bob

MAIL
"I have been seen on TV at a few Knicks games this year, am I dating a Knicks player?" -Taylor S, from the radio.

   Dear Taylor,

     Your music is awesome, and your looks keep improving as the years go on. However,  I find it curious that you've been pictured with Amar'e and Melo. Don't get me wrong, I love you wearing Knicks gear. But this question should be something you ask your girlfriend Abigail. My guess is you are dating Jason Smith.

  Love,
  Bob

MAIL
"I am doing the Halftime Show for the Super Bowl, will there be any wardrobe malfunctions?" -Katy P, from Brand X

  Dear Katy,

    I do think selecting you for the Super Bowl halftime was a good move by the NFL. I do think the odds and hopes for a wardrobe malfunction are at all time highs this year because you are capable of a malfunction. But for the sake of not having future shows with bands in their 60s I hope you don't have a "Nip Gate."

  Love,
  Bob

Thanks for reading.

Thanksgiving Is Being Destroyed

Thanksgiving is a fantastic day for spending time with family, eating a guilt free meal, and watching football, or drinking by yourself wishing you had family.

However, the holiday is being ruined by Christmas. This is not an original opinion, but I have begun to loathe Christmas.

Radio stations have started playing Christmas music starting November 1. TV channels have started playing classics like the 19th Tim Allen Santa Claus piece of crap.

Can I please have Thanksgiving for the love of god? No sane or half way intelligent person needs more than a week to do Christmas shopping.

I get Black Friday has great deals but those sales have started on Thanksgiving now! That is complete crap. That's like starting the Super Bowl in the 3rd quarter of the NFC Championship.

In closing, if you start Christmas shopping by waiting in line on Thanksgiving, you hate Pilgrims and Native Americans. Keep that in mind.

Have a good Thanksgiving!

Toilet Tinder

America has turned a phone from something to talk to people into a mini computer to occupy your time on the toilet. There are millions of apps out there for dating the opposite sex, same sex, or even yourself while you are on the toilet.

Then, you have the game apps where you can match fruit, defeat clans, and basically live a life that is better than the one you live in in reality.  All fantastic things to limit your efficiency while going to the bathroom.

I'd be curious how much money companies are cost by the bathroom break in the 2010s vs the bathroom break in the 1950s when all you had was a newspaper.

With all that being said, it would only make sense to build an app about toilets to use while on the toilet.

Tinder is made for men or women who wish what they had is better. So why not do the same with toilets?

An app with pictures of toilets and you swipe yes or no depending on if you would happily use that toilet.

My yes swipes would consist of urinals that go all the way to the ground, toilets with buttons on the tank to flush, and toilets that you flush by texting it.

What would you say yes to on Toilet Tinder?

My 600-lb Life

My 600-lb Life is possibly my favorite show ever created. TLC, surprisingly stands for the The Learning Channel, at least it used to. And another surprise is that this show has never starred Honey Boo Boo's gigantic mother.

The things you might be forced to learn about these days on TLC involve 600 pound people, crazy women trying to find a wedding dress, and how parents are able to exploit their children. Very mind expanding topics.

That being said weighing 600 pounds is impressive. Many who are reading this probably aren't in the best shape themselves, but no one has the guts to admit that weighing 600 pounds has perks. (Pun intended)

First, you get on TV and that alone is at minimum is a four figure payday. If you are interesting enough as a gigantic person those paydays keep coming in money and probably candy.

Second, you would get a certain amount of pity from people for your health problems which would include, but not limited to diabetes, sleep apnea, heart burn, and starvation.

And finally, if you drop that weight there is a book deal, a Lifetime movie, and TLC specials for years about your rise and fall of 600 pounds.

I have told a few people of my desire to be on this show. I'm not a huge fan of walking, but I'm a huge fan of food. I would start my quest by signing an endorsement deal with Golden Corral. Several months of breakfast, lunch and dinner in the Chocolate Wonderfall could push me to the high 300s.

Not exercising is not a concern of mine because I don't exercise much. But the key for me is getting a motorized device early in the game to eliminate all physical activity, so an endorsement deal with Hover Round would be required and a Stair Glide endorsement would be ideal as well.

The final nail in the coffin for many of these 600 pounders is snacking. And I bet an endorsement deal with a frosted animal crackers company could be beneficial too.

In conclusion, I'm not actually going to ever make it on My 600-lb Life, that sounds like a lot of effort. But for all the go getters out there, I've laid the blue print for success in reaching a weight that can make you money for your children's children. 

Philadelphia 76ers "Project"

The true question isn't: how bad are the Philadelphia 76ers? The true question is: how many NFL teams will win more games in the 2014-2015 season than the 76ers in basketball? With an 0-9 start to the season the 76ers are making a run at their own franchise's record for futility when the 1972-73 76ers went 9-73.

With the announcement that they are trying to lose over the next few years, the Sixers are essentially saying "Hey we are gonna be Nicholas Cage, waste your time with our crappy movies, and steal your money